Dear Diary,
I owe you an apology: I haven’t written much of anything these past few months. And not just in you. Truth be told, I’ve not written even a fraction of what I’d hoped I’d have done by this time of year.
And I was afraid of this. I read about the phenomenon known as writer’s block way back when I was getting started in writing so many years ago and I wish I hadn’t; It really got into my head like a virus. I started wondering if that would be me one day staring at a blank sheet of paper. And it became a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It got to be so bad that I started hoping for some kind of Breakthrough Event that would shatter my mental wall and usher me into some kind of new enlightened lifestyle where I would write more often and have much more confidence while doing so. I’d watch a great movie or read a great book and wonder if it would be ‘the one’, that story that would inspire me so much that I would change my ways and finally focus on my work. Worse, I’d wonder if I’d start writing more if I had some kind of close brush with death, something that would make me realize and appreciate my own mortality … something like a car accident, maybe?
Morbid, huh.
But it all comes back to the fact that I’m simply not writing. I mean, this is the most I’ve written in … what? A few months now? I mean, come on, this is pathetic!!!
The truth? That shining light of inspiration is never going to come, is it? As I’ve been told many times, it’s always been about blood, sweat, and tears, and I don’t think I have it in me. I can’t do it alone, anyway. I can’t.
I still haven’t heard back on my short story yet, but Brian did get his first rejection letter. I find it a little strange that he’s gotten his first rejection letter before I’ve gotten mine, considering my years head start on him, but I congratulated him and was cordial, of course. He’s been thinking about getting it framed and I think that’s a great idea. I might do that with mine, too. Hopefully I’ll be getting it soon?? I expect I’ll take it well– The rejection, I mean. I’m coming to accept the fact that I’m just an average writer, nothing special. And that’s fine. I’ve got to get back in the frame of mind that I’m writing for myself. That might be the key right there.
Oh yes, I applied to college and was accepted there. Who knew that submitting a FAFSA, applying to a college, and getting accepted there is about 50 times more expedient than submitting a short story and hearing back on it? Haha…
Anyway, I’ve probably told you too much, Diary. I really should burn you now. But I suppose I’ll let you live … this time.
And yes, this little talk helped.
Yours truly,
-Nick
There are several possible reasons why I got a response so soon. First, I submitted my story before you did. Second, the magazine I submitted to has a very short minimum turnaround time of 24 days. To give you some context, I still haven’t heard back on my first submission, which I sent almost nine weeks ago, so we’re both still waiting to hear back on our first attemtps.
[Reply]
Nick Enlowe Reply:
June 22nd, 2011 at 4:41 pm
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Comment by Brian — June 22, 2011 @ 4:21 pm
2111 (the number, not necessarily the year)
winter
the red door
super
I find having the theme gives me something to get creative about. I’ve seen your ideas here on your blog and you are mighty creative. Perhaps you need to unshackle yourself from the belief that you must finish something if you start it. Meet someone, pick a topic and write something about it to show them next time. Anything, it doesn’t have to be complete or a story. It could be stream of consciousness brain storming. Then swap what you’ve written and talk about it. I find it very motivating and fun.
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Comment by Scion — June 28, 2011 @ 11:28 pm
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Nick Enlowe Reply:
July 11th, 2011 at 2:53 pm
You don’t happen to live near Central Illinois, do you? The main problem here is that there are no writing groups around at the moment. There used to be, but I can’t find where they’ve been meeting–if they even exist anymore.
Writing with my friend has certainly helped, but the opportunities to do so are few and far between. Also, fate keeps intervening lately.
At any rate, I’ve been writing again. More on that later. But I’d gladly join any group. Maybe I should talk to Brian again about creating one. I was thinking we should call it ‘PAWG’, to stand for the "Peoria Area Writers’ Guild".
[Reply]
Comment by Scion — June 28, 2011 @ 11:29 pm