So I finally completed something I feel is … well … good. Maybe hopefully really good. Maybe hopefully publishy good.
After I wrote it, I thought, “Wow. Where the heck did THIS come from?”
The first draft rolled off my fingertips while I was at work, of all places. As I wrote, I felt as if I was in (as I described to Steph no.1) a ‘writerly trance’.
What came out of that trance amazed me. I was like, “Wow. That was a pretty amazing faeries-whispering-in-my-ear experience. And I get a free story out of it, too? Sweet!”
It didn’t have a title yet, though. And it was definitely a first draft. (Steph came up with some good titles, actually. And I went with En Prise.)
My first critiques were along the lines of, “This was an enjoyable read and is a brilliant idea, BUT the flow could use a little work. And this part came on too fast. And here’s some important tips to consider when writing in first person.”
(It was the first time I had written a story in first-person ~.~);
So, I wrote a second draft. I carefully weighed the advice everyone gave me and edited accordingly. I used every trick in the book I knew to streamline.
The reviews were much better. Tiny changes really do make the reader’s experience more pleasant!
The critiques started to look more like this:
“Very nice. You use sentence structure well to reflect/build your scenes. Very few wasted words and you stayed consistent with regard to style throughout the piece.
I don’t know that I have any fixes for you. I will share my experience with you while reading the story and perhaps that will guide you. It was like listening to a deep base drum at the heart of a drum circle. Boom…boom…boom. Steady, consistent, even. At one point while reading I have a visual of a Clydesdale horse walking, slow even thundering steps.
At first, that was nice, but as the story progressed, I wanted a little snare, a cymbal crash, something to let me know that the scene was hopping. I really noticed it when the knight died. It was like it was being described by someone on heavy psychotropic drugs.
The language is great. Your visuals are good. The story is fun. The way you use your sentences structure is wonderful. Maybe you want to keep it just the way it is? If you do decide to pick up the pace, I would recommend that you do it carefully and sparingly so as not to detract from the ending. (the drag on the cigarette was great, btw.)
Hope that helps and thanks for sharing your writing.”
Wow! (thanks, Froggfeathers, Steph, and all the others who critiqued!)
All in all, I was left with exactly two tiny, minor fixes left. One POV reference error and one use of the word ‘us’ instead of ‘ours’. And the third draft, the result of all this, I can honestly say, gets my heart pumping. This is truly ready to send off in the mail.
At the beginning of next month, I’ll see if I can’t get this sucker published in a real magazine. ;)
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Congrats, btw. I really do hope you get it published & it’s so nice that you have people you trust to critique your writings. People’s input is dire at times and can always better a work.
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Comment by Latrina — August 29, 2008 @ 12:50 am
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Comment by Latrina — August 29, 2008 @ 12:54 am
Good Luck.
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Comment by Ken Kiser — August 29, 2008 @ 4:10 am
I’m very excited about all this. The feedback is great news because they are all good signs that:
-I might be able to actually write something that communicates my emotions and maybe even evokes those emotions in other people.
-I might be able to competently edit stories.
-It gives me more hope than ever that I can pull off Five Rings.
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Comment by cirellio — August 29, 2008 @ 11:32 am
Actually, since you finished FIFTHWIND, do you think I could read a sample chapter? If not, that’s cool.
Thanks for the luck-wish!
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Comment by cirellio — August 29, 2008 @ 11:36 am
Use the “Contact Me” link under my picture on my blog to send me an email. If I decide to send you some sample material, I’ll reply to that email with an attachment.
But only if you go public with a positive review :P
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Comment by Ken Kiser — August 29, 2008 @ 11:44 am
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Comment by Steph No. 1 — August 29, 2008 @ 1:10 pm
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Comment by randall — August 29, 2008 @ 5:28 pm
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Comment by Steph — August 30, 2008 @ 12:58 pm
Here’s my new tagline…EditQuest: Making you publishy good. :) I like it! haha!
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Comment by Steph — August 30, 2008 @ 1:01 pm
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Comment by Steph — August 30, 2008 @ 1:02 pm
Just kidding, just kidding… Sort of. :P
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Comment by Steph No. 1 — August 30, 2008 @ 8:31 pm
No, seriously, though…I’m not charging and I won’t bug to edit. Promise.
-OS
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Comment by Steph — August 31, 2008 @ 11:58 am
@Steph: hehe. Thanks so much. This piece is going to be the first of mine to be published. I can feel it!
@randall: welcome! at least you’re keeping up an entertaining blog :) and thanks! Writers write, even if they just write blogs at the moment. Keep those fingers movin’, right?
@OS: OMG that’s the perfect tagline! hahahahaha! It’s cool, it’s all-encompassing. I like it ^_^;;; Glad I could inadvertantly help you with it after all. As far as reading the story, I’d say give me a little bit of time to get this mailed out and I’ll send it your way. But you can most certainly read it. I’m so happy you’d want to!
Thanks again, all!
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Comment by cirellio — August 31, 2008 @ 6:22 pm
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Comment by Steph — September 5, 2008 @ 9:50 pm