http://5-rings.com/blog/2008/03/prose-poetry/ A journal of the creative writing process. Wed, 08 Feb 2012 06:36:26 +0000 hourly 1 http://5-rings.com/blog/2008/03/prose-poetry/#comment-54 cirellio Thu, 03 Apr 2008 04:56:10 +0000 http://cirellio.wordpress.com/?p=32#comment-54 great! I was hoping the girl intrigues at the end - definitely what I was going for. Thanks for giving me my first critique, and thanks for being honest. great! I was hoping the girl intrigues at the end – definitely what I was going for. Thanks for giving me my first critique, and thanks for being honest.

]]> http://5-rings.com/blog/2008/03/prose-poetry/#comment-53 David King Mon, 31 Mar 2008 21:11:14 +0000 http://cirellio.wordpress.com/?p=32#comment-53 First poem in about a decade? Not half bad, sirrah. You take to rhyming, which is good for the subject matter. It always seems to me that rhymed and rhythmed poetry works better for fantasy-based narrative poetry. Free verse is more reflective, not necessarily suited for narrative always. The trick about rhythm is consistency, you've done a good job, but there are a few places where it breaks down to my ear. When I'm working with rhythm, I always try speaking my poem aloud to a steady beat. If I can't make the words fit and sound good, I try and rewrite until I can. I really like the last stanza: the girl intrigues me, even though she's only in the very last line. Nice. First poem in about a decade? Not half bad, sirrah.
You take to rhyming, which is good for the subject matter. It always seems to me that rhymed and rhythmed poetry works better for fantasy-based narrative poetry. Free verse is more reflective, not necessarily suited for narrative always.
The trick about rhythm is consistency, you’ve done a good job, but there are a few places where it breaks down to my ear. When I’m working with rhythm, I always try speaking my poem aloud to a steady beat. If I can’t make the words fit and sound good, I try and rewrite until I can.
I really like the last stanza: the girl intrigues me, even though she’s only in the very last line. Nice.

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